


Radio Silence

by eleuther



Category: Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018), Bohemian Rhapsody (Movie 2018) Actor RPF
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Ben is sad, Emotional Hurt/Comfort, Hurt/Comfort, Idiots in Love, Insecure Ben, Insecurity, M/M, Mutual Pining, Not Actually Unrequited Love, Pining, Unrequited Love, and really unsure about himself, gwil is also insecure
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-04-15
Updated: 2019-04-15
Packaged: 2020-01-14 12:13:24
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,713
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18475999
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eleuther/pseuds/eleuther
Summary: Ben is slowly coming to terms with his crush on Gwilym, which is great except Gwil has been ignoring him for weeks now. Ben is at the point where he just wants to know what he did wrong.





	Radio Silence

**Author's Note:**

> Hello! This is my first fic posted on here, which is also cross-posted on my tumblr (@/alldead-ontime). I edited it a bit on here though. Please let me know what you think! 
> 
> Also, there is a vague description of a panic attack towards the end. It's nothing explicit but just be warned!

It started the day after the night he can hardly remember. 

The four of them had gone out for a bit, had some drinks, then went back to Joe’s hotel room and had a bit more. Ben vaguely remembers someone mentioning truth or dare or spin the bottle or some old high school game they hadn’t played in years. And ever since, Gwilym had barely said two words to him outside of work. 

At first Ben thought, had convinced himself that he was just busy. They all had lives outside of the job and when they hung out as a group everything seemed fine. But every time Ben attempted to get Gwil alone he was given a lousy excuse and a pained expression.

After a week Ben began to give the man some space. If he didn’t want to be around Ben he wouldn’t force his presence on him. But the longer he was ignored, the more he was pushed away, the more he worried that maybe he really had done something wrong, that he had completely fucked up an amazing friendship before it had even really begun.

It didn't help that he had an evergrowing crush on Gwilym. Ben was having a difficult time hiding his feelings, and his first thought when this whole mess began was that he had been more than obvious when drunk. As far as Ben knew, Gwil was straight. Not only was he straight, but Ben had yet to formally tell any of them that he was bi. But Gwil seemed more hurt than disgusted at his crush, and Ben liked to think he had more self-restraint than to just blurt his feelings out.

Everyone else could sense something was wrong as well; Joe was shooting them both worried looks and Rami had even asked if everything was okay between the two of them. Ben really had wanted to say no, tell him everything was most definitely not okay and that he didn’t know what to do, but he also didn’t want anyone turning on Gwil to question him. 

It was now nearly two weeks later, and Ben was not only fed up with the behavior but also a little nervous. What had he done that was so bad that he deserved getting ignored? Was it just him? He knew he was an annoying drunk and tended to say things before he really thought about them, but was he really that bad?

As much as Ben wanted to know what he had done, the last thing he wanted was to piss Gwil (or anyone) off even more. He kept his head down, speaking when spoken to and focusing on doing his job. God, this was supposed to be the most amazing job of his career yet and he had already ruined it. 

“Ben?” He started at the voice.

“Hey, Joe. Everything alright?” he asked. 

“I should be asking you that. You’ve been distant.” 

“Just focused.”

“No. Something’s wrong and it's obvious to everyone –“

“I’m sorry, I didn’t realize –“

“I’m not telling you this so you can apologize, we’re all just worried. You’ve been sitting here for ten minutes lost in your head and looking like you’re ready to cry. And it’s not the first time we’ve noticed. What’s wrong?”

Ben really thought he was going to burst into tears at that. He glanced around before getting off his chair and starting towards his trailer. He heard Joe follow after him. 

As soon as the door shut Ben could feel the tears start. He tried to stop them, but he was so tired of trying to keep it together in front of everyone.

“I think Gwil hates me.” 

He wasn't sure what he expected from him, but he could honestly say he wasn’t expecting Joe to laugh at him.

He waited for Joe to stop but it looked like he was having trouble.

“Look if you’re gonna laugh just leave. I’ll be fine,” Ben said, voice cracking a bit at the end.

Joe immediately stopped, “Sorry. Just, do you really think he hates you?” 

“Well, it’s obvious! He can barely look at me ever since that night we all got trashed in your hotel room. I can’t even remember what I said to piss him off. I just want to know why. It’s killing me to know that I hurt him.” The tears were falling hard now and nothing he did could stop them.

Joe’s face was a mix of sympathy and frustration.

“Ben, you have to talk to him. This isn’t fair to either of you.”

“Do you know what’s going on?” he asked, though he’s sure he knew the answer.

“It’s not my place. I promise you guys will be fine if you just talk.”

Joe gave him a tight hug, before starting towards the door.

“They’ll want us back on set. I’ll tell makeup to expect you.”

———

Despite his conversation with Joe, it took Ben nearly a week to get the courage to talk to Gwilym. His nerves were through the roof and as much as he wanted to know what was going on in the man's head, he was terrified of the answer. 

So there he stood, outside Gwil’s trailer trying to knock yet being unable to move his arms.

He was saved the trouble when the door swung open, almost hitting him in the face.

“Oh! Sorry I – oh, um hi Ben.” 

“Hi,” Ben started. “Um, can we talk? If you’re not busy, that is.”

Gwil looked at him for a moment. “Sure.” He stepped back to let him in, before shutting the door quickly. 

“Everything alright?” he asked and Ben felt something flare up inside him. It wasn’t fair, he knew that but Gwil’s ignorance just pissed him off more.

“I don’t know, mate, you tell me. You’re the one who’s been ignoring me for weeks!” 

Gwil looked down, a slight blush on his face and opened his mouth to defend himself, but Ben was on a role and didn’t plan on stopping.

“What did I do? Or say or whatever? That night, in Joe’s hotel room, that’s when it started and I can barely remember anything after we got back from the pub. I’m sorry for whatever it was, really, but this radio silence is killing me. I just – I have to know.” His tone took on a more desperate note as he went on and he knew how whiney he sounded. “I know I’m a prick when I’m drunk, but whatever happened I’m so sorry. I love you too much to –”

Oops. Ben quickly turned away from Gwil. 

_God, you just can’t keep your mouth shut, can you?_

“Ben,” Gwil said. “Ben look at me.”

Ben shook his head. This was it, he was going to die right at this moment. He just ruined any chance he had of fixing things with Gwil. He could feel himself start to shake.

“Ben, please.”

“I’m sorry! God, I’m so sorry that wasn’t supposed to slip out or happen at all. I swear I can forget it and we can just pretend this conversation never happened –”

Gwil grabbed his arm and pulled him into a hug, pressing his head to his chest. 

“Just breath, Ben, love, please. You’re gonna choke. Take a deep breath. There you go. Listen to my heartbeat and follow that. That’s good, love, good job.” 

Ben hadn’t even realized he had practically stopped breathing. He clung to the back of Gwil’s sweater trying to breathe as he said but it was so hard when he knew he had just made everything worse.

When he finally calmed down enough Gwil pulled away, and Ben had to fight down the whine in his throat. 

“Sorry,” he whispered again.

Gwil shook his head. “I promise it isn’t you.”

“Then what?”

Gwilym bit his lip and looked down.

“I love you too.”

_Oh._

“I realized it that night at Joe’s. You were so open with us, more so than you had been until then, and it was beautiful, you’re beautiful. You had the brightest smile the whole night, you had no shame in your actions. You kept draping yourself all over us and when you fell into my lap I never wanted you to leave. It was like a switch had flipped and I just wanted to be with you forever. But I figured you wouldn’t feel the same. So I tried to get over you, and ended up hurting you in the process,” he paused. “Ben I am so sorry I hurt you.” 

Ben wanted to kiss the pained look off Gwil’s face. He wanted to tell him not to be sorry because he was already forgiven.

“Are you sure?” Ben asked.

“Of course I am.” Gwilym looked up at him, eyes wide and a bit fearful. “Unless you’re not, because then we can just forget I told you that. I know you were worked up a few moments ago and could have – mmph!”

Ben was on top of him in a second and god were his lips incredible. Gwil’s surprise only lasted a second and he quickly kissed him back with just as much fervor. 

Ben pulled back much too soon for his liking.

“You had me so scared, Gwil. I thought I had done something to completely ruin any sort of relationship we could have had. I thought I would spend the rest of this shoot hiding from you all in my trailer.”

“No! You could never, Ben, I’ll always forgive you,” Gwil said. 

The two sat for a while, just resting in each other’s arms. Ben knew he must look absolutely wrecked between the crying and the kissing, but he was so comfortable wrapped up in Gwilym.

“So what now?” Ben asked.

“Well,” Gwil began, “I think we should try this out. Though there is more we have to talk about. You scared me for a minute there, I thought you were going to pass out.”

Ben could feel the blush spreading across his face. “Sorry about that. And I would love to try this out with you.”

“Don’t be sorry,” he said. 

“So, are we a… thing?”

Gwilym laughed lightly at his choice of words. “Yes, I think we are.”

“Good,” Ben said. This was worth the wait.

**Author's Note:**

> Please leave comments and kudos I need validation !!!


End file.
